A year or so ago, I wrote a rather stinging critique of Bethenny Frankel’s haphazard decisionmaking process in selecting the officiant for her well-chronicled wedding, featured on Bethenny Getting Married. However, the ceremony seemed to get equally paltry attention in the record-setting wedding of celebrity Kim Kardashian and her athlete husband Kris Humphries.
Two months after the actual wedding, I could delay it no more…on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I finally watched Kim’s Fairytale Wedding (Part I). Previously, I had caught glimpses of the wedding—how could you not? It was everywhere in the popular media. And by the time I actually tuned in on E!, there were rumors of the demise of the marriage. My primary interest in the entire affair, was the actual wedding ceremony.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that a $15 million wedding would spend about 5 minutes on the ceremony. I did feel cheated, however. I can pretty much remember the ceremony verbatim. The minister (an unidentified, but genial looking man), asked, “Who gives Kimberly in Marriage to Kris?” The affable Bruce Jenner said, “Her Mother and I do.” The minister made some quick opening remarks about the fantasy of this day (for Kim as a little girl – and not so much for Kris). He then took a moment to slide in some comments of each about the other, “Kim loves that Kris puts a smile on my face….” Kris says, “I love that Kim is ambitious and loves her family.” With no transition, we moved on to the vow portion of the program—four or five lines the minister uttered and each repeated, with similarly brief ring vows to follow. This is it. You are done. Married. Mr. and Mrs. Kris Humphries. All I can say is for $15 million, they really could have enjoyed a deeper, richer, more wonderful ceremony.
I say it again and again: Working with a Life cycle Celebrant will offer a couple the wedding ceremony of their dreams to go along with the wedding of their dreams. In developing their unique script, I seek to learn about the couple, their individual stories and interests, the courtship, proposal of marriage and hopes for the future. I serve as a creative coach and intellectual midwife for the ceremony, discussing readings, music, and possible rituals they might wish to include. No detail is too large or too small to be considered for the ceremony. And through this creative process, such a personalized, unique, and one-of-a-kind ceremony creates an emotional intimacy and connection like nothing else, not even a 20 carat engagement ring or ice sculptures on the dining tables. (For a more detailed essay about the gifts of a Celebrant-led wedding, visit an earlier essay that I wrote.)
As I say to all my couples, “Peace and All Good Things to You Kim and Kris.” But, please call me when you are planning your vow renewal ceremony. Okay? I promise, we can make the words as beautiful as the dresses, decorations, and reception music.
Photo is courtesy of US Magazine